21.2.12

from east to west.

Today i watched the 17th episode of HIMYM series season 7. It's when Ted asked Robin, "Do you love me?" and Robin replied, after some awkward pause, "No", I realized a thing.


Before any other journey I'd love to make in the name of move on, of which I must do it perfectly, first of all I need to go the east. Meet him, and tell him in person : "You knew I love you, right?" But I won't ask such tricky question as, "Did you ever love me?" I want to completely move on, don't I? There's no necessary point anymore in knowing the answer, for now -- well, it would be completely different if I were to do it back in 2007, which thankfully I did not --. 


I just want to end every smallest bit of my heart from keep running around him. Him. A man I've always wished  -- not for dating me, but -- to marry me, to be the first member of my own little family, to be a father of a baby boy and a baby girl I've always wished to have one day -- supposedly these days --.


By doing so, then should I be able to seek another him. The real him. A man whose name is literally written besides mine on God's secret journal. 


. . .
This note is a fictional work. To be elaborated later.