[refleksi hari ini]

jika ada hak milik kita yang tertahan,
mungkin ada kewajiban yang belum kita tunaikan.


[music] Vanness Wu -

If it's not for Autumn's Concerto, I wouldn't realize that the most good looking among all the F4 boys (be it the Taiwan version, Japanese version, or Korean version) is actually Van Ness Wu. The one taking role as Mei Zuo in Meteor Garden (or Mimasaka Akira in the original Japanese version, Hana Yori Dango).

-- intermezzo : both Meteor Garden and Hana Yori Dango were based on Japanese manga, Hana Yori Dango or Boys Before Flower, and thus the term F4 literally means "flower four" *dang!* --

Watching Meteor Garden nearly ten years past its actual airing time, I found the drama was really really really ... out of date *well just you think...* *speechless* (it would've been different though if I had already watched it back then). Well, however I couldn't help admiring Vic Zhou, the one taking role as Huaze Lei (or Hanazawa Rui in HYD version), and end up watching his other drama, Mars (also pairing with Barbie Hsu, who played as San Chai, or Makino Tsukushi in HYD version). Mars is one really good T-drama, by the way, also based on Japanese manga with same title. I personally recommended the series.

Right, i'm talking about Van Ness Wu here. Well, later after Mars, accidentally I also found another T-drama called "Autumn's Concerto". When I first saw its trailer's thumbnail on Youtube, I thought the main actor was Yunho from Korean boyband TVXQ (of which, I was quite a fan of at that time..tehehee...). They really are looked alike. But, sure, turned out it wasn't Yunho, but Van Ness Wu. Really, at that moment I blamed the Meteor Garden's hair stylist -___-"

And, it's only yesterday I just known that he is actually a singer, too. And quite a good dancer, also. Oh, yes, now I remember that the F4 boys was actually a boyband, too, back then. What I didn't know is that he actually sings in three language >.<

This one in Japanese... I personally like this one :)

This one in Korean, a duet project with Kangta (a member of HOT, one of the early K-pop boyband) under SM Entertainment *why oh whyyy...* Oh, and this one doesn't fit my ears well...

And, this one in Mandarin, a collaboration with Junho from Korean boyband 2PM... I like it, but not very much my playlist...

Seeing his dancing, I can't help thinking that in some certain way his style reminds me of Taeyang's *ehh what*. Okay, too much for an intermezzo I think. These should be more than enough already to boost my "writing another report" mode... *zzzzz...*


[music] epik high - "Oceans. Sand. Trees"

(notes : Tablo wrote the song, and I wonder was he also the one who 'played the piano')

i fell in love with the song the very first time i heard it.
it reminds me of an imaginary place somewhere strangely familiar :
so far in physical distance, yet so close to heart.

oceans. sand. trees
depth. length. eternity

to sail through accumulated fear
to break journey into milestone
to never end a for ever

ps :
i miss you.
too much a city that now has you in. too bitter a milestone. too sweet a destination
once a strangely familiar imagination

- - -


peppermint green tea.

daun-daun kering dan pahit bercampur,
mengambang. mengapung. mengendap.

tenggelam bersama sisa-sisa manis hari.

malam mengucapkan selamat,
kepada manis yang bulat dikandungnya.

untuk bekal setiap kelahiran yang bernama pagi.

[film] catatan tertinggal tentang RECTOVERSO.

Menonton Rectoverso, bagi saya, adalah menonton bagaimana cinta-cinta mencari jalan. Jalan keluar dan jalan masuk. Dari hati, ke hati. Tagline-nya "Cinta yang Tak Terucap" cukup menjawab hati saya yang berdenyut kencang sesaat setelah selesai menontonnya. 

Bahwa ada logika-logika yang tak bernalar. Bahwa ada tanda-tanda yang menolak untuk terbaca. Bahwa ada pesan-pesan yang bersembunyi di balik punggung, atas nama penantian yang bersaling-silang. Bahwa ada cinta yang cukup berbentuk sebidang punggung. Bahwa ada perjalanan rasa yang bercabang, tanpa sebuah niat mematahkan.

Dan saya pun (akhirnya) harus berbesar hati menerima adanya cinta-cinta yang tidak (perlu) terucap. 
Cinta-cinta yang teruapkan oleh semesta, lalu abadi bersama bergulirnya usia. 
Cinta-cinta yang menghidupkan, namun bukan untuk dibawa (hingga) mati.

Sungguhlah film ini membumikan karya awalnya dengan begitu hidup. Dengan visualisasi indah yang tidak lebih, tidak juga kurang. Dengan musik-musik latar yang mengalirkan adegan demi adegan dengan rapi, tetap dengan kekuatan cerita masing-masing. Dengan akting yang, jika boleh, ingin sekali saya beri sepuluh jempol, untuk semua pemeran, tanpa kecuali. Dan tentunya salut untuk kelima sutradara perempuan yang dengan cantiknya melahirkan Rectoverso ke layar bioskop. 

"Malaikat Juga Tahu" -- salut untuk Lukman Sardi dengan perannya sebagai "Abang" yang sukses membuat saya menahan nafas di saat adegan-adegan terakhir.
 "Curhat buat Sahabat" -- friend-zoned chemistry yang sempurna, lukisan gemerlap yang menyayat tentang dua pesan tak sampai. Ini adalah kesukaan saya :)
"Cicak di Dinding" -- (ehem) maaf, tapi sejujurnya pada bagian ini saya tersesat...
"Firasat" -- saya sangat suka setting dan detail properti cerita ini. Senja dan sepedanya, buku Larasati, dan jalan tanah dengan pohon berderet di kiri-dan kanan. 
"Hanya Isyarat" --  tentang cinta yang bermula dari punggung, berhenti pada cerita, dan dicukupkan oleh warna bola mata. Cinta dan spatio tempora. Dan sebuah kata "cukup".
Beberapa karya, saya sebut luar biasa, bagus, atau biasa-biasa saja. Beberapa karya, ingin saya sampaikan ucapan terima kasih. Film Rectoverso adalah salah satu yang terakhir :)


[notes] today's thought.

"my social media, my way". with this kind of mindset, i don't really think democracy suits this country for the time being. yet, in a total opposite view, it could be the only way for us, citizens, to learn. in a very hard way.

to respect what others have to say. and that is all to it.

to respect doesn't necessarily means to respond, or further to offend. i think for some of us, including me too, there's an urge inside to feel that what i thought about certain things is right. well, in fact, there's a little possibility that i am indeed right, right? just as much as the possibility that i might be wrong, too.

thinking that my thought is right doesn't automatically gives me right to think that other's thought is wrong, though. what if we didn't use the same "tools" and "options" in thinking? what if even the need that serve as our basis in clicking the thinking mode is not even the same? could i bear the responsibility for throwing out  "i am right, and you are wrong", later when it actually turns out to be that "i am wrong, and you are right"? will i have the exact same guts for both lines?

thus, i am right, and you are left. let's just walk hand in hand... if you want to.
(this could be what i'd say to my left, as could be said to me by my right)


...and nothing worse than greed over money and power as greed over time and space...


good mood. good day.

when i need to grab fast a good mood for a day,
all i need is this music video played in 720p quality mode,
a cup of sugarless earl grey tea, and a bit of lindt's strawberry cheesecake chocolate ;)

and one thing to be happy about the video above is that i rarely seen the three of Tae, Dae, and Ri
altogether on any Bigbang's music videos thumbnail. it's just one cute little thing :")


[music] Bigbang - Beautiful Hangover.

for no specific reason, i love this video
maybe it's how the black and white met the colorful drugs...

or maybe it's simply how dashingly normal the double dragons were here *eh* ...

[notes] today's thought.

when you were in a high fever yet you still somehow sanely thought of someone, well maybe he worth all the risk.
“When I’m in writing mode for a novel, I get up at 4:00 am and work for five to six hours. In the afternoon, I run for 10km or swim for 1500m (or do both), then I read a bit and listen to some music. I go to bed at 9:00 pm. I keep to this routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind. But to hold to such repetition for so long — six months to a year — requires a good amount of mental and physical strength. In that sense, writing a long novel is like survival training. Physical strength is as necessary as artistic sensitivity.”

- Haruki Murakami’s daily routine (from here via here) -


[journal] January on a glance.

January was good. But still only 50% of it, if not to say 40%. February gotta be 60-75% at the minimum. One thing : I'm done drinking instant and packaged drinks, especially coffee. Exceptions (on packaged tea and soda) only allowed once a while when going to cinema. And by once a while it means once a month. Oh, and I'm going to put the poems writing sessions on hiatus and more on random notes and journal instead, for some times until I can get through the "get re-organized" stage on my happiness project ;)

Have a nice day for the rest of February!


[music] NELL - Words you shouldn't believe

i'm never really into concerts. much more because i was always too lazy to do the efforts : 
setting the schedule, saving the money, going through trouble to book the ticket, not to tell queuing at the venue
so, i can't thank those who shared all the fancams on internet enough.

however there're exceptions, especially when it comes to these list :
John Mayer, OASIS, Depapepe, Bigbang and the YG Family.

if only i got all the time and the money, i'd really love to attend  the concerts of those artists.
well, i know some were too high a dream, but still those're my list. actually i also would want The Verve on my list. but if i can't have it, then at the very least i could have Nell.

*yes, you wish*

[short film] paperman.

found this video when visiting Winda's blog.

a sweet black and white animated short film :')

this somehow illustrated those quotes stating such : 
"when a guy really wants to meet a girl, he's gonna do so. 
when he really wants to be with her, he'd make that happen no matter what."

[notes] today's insight.

so one day i got some retweeted posts on my timeline from an account followed by YB (ahem). in short i ended up scrolling this account and marked some of its posts as favorite :") *it didn't make me want to follow the account though. once a while is enough. bunch of those in a day will suffocate me.*

here's the top two of my favorites :

Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are. Your reputation is who people think you are. (source)

Being nice to someone you hate doesn't mean you're fake. It means you're mature enough to tolerate your hate towards them. (source)

so thus i thought it's all normal for worrying to progress in life, to improve your character to appreciate yourself more. character is one thing that needs some room to breathe, some space to grow, some chance for (better) changes. 

and to disagree doesn't necessarily means to hate. and to hate doesn't necessarily means to be an anti. being nice is one thing with regardless. some people might called it fake, but what's the deal? stop being nice? you know that is not even an option. sincerity doesn't made overnight. it's trained. 


[music] 클래지콰이(CLAZZIQUAI PROJECT) - 함께라면 feat. 김진표 (Can't go on my own)

they're back!
this time with a soundtrack-look-alike for a hard-to-move-on soul, i suppose...

[one little happiness] a chair standing in a way.

another reason to love YB <3
here comes the boys down performing "Bad Boy", and just when they reached the stage
there was a chair standing in their way
(it's a big "ha?!", you know... it's an award night, leaving a chair on stage,
not to mention for the boys' performance session? oh please...)
but still YB moved smoothly towards the chair, taking it, dragging it, and casually throwing it aside
- (literally throwing -___-") -
 without being awkward nor causing commotion to the group's choreography,
and then coming back to the center stage right before his part and continue singing just like that
as if he was never really going elsewhere out of the block.
that was something only him -- on current level of stage performance skill -- could do ;)

lesson learnt was : 
next time i, unexpectedly, got a chair on my way (or my stage, if there would be any), 
all i need to do is be calm, keep walking towards it, dragging it out of my range,
and throwing it away ;)
(oh, just keep in mind not to throw it to ones who possibly have put it there at the first place)

ps : c'mon YG, just give him another solo! pretty pleaseee...