28.2.14

padamu.

ada padamu, harum rumah seperti bantal tua yang kumal
ada padamu, hangat malam musim hujan seperti selimut tampal empat petak
ada padamu, merdu nyanyian pagi seperti derit pagar terbuka oleh pengantar koran

ada padamu, rumah sebagian hati
yang beratap tidak berdinding
yang bertaman tidak berpagar

ada padamu,
sepenggal dari perjalananku

24.2.14

Jatuh cinta : musim kedua.

Jatuh cinta kali ini seperti daun daun pohon mahoni saat meranggas
Tak kenal dahulu mendahului dalam kecepatan melepaskan diri dari ranting
Tak kenal menunggu yang terdahulu selesai dengan tanah

Jatuh cinta ya seperti daun-daun itu. Kuning. Ringan. Lepas. Melayang. Tak berarah. Hingga menyentuh dasar.

Jatuh.

Dan sekali angin, cinta-cinta kering itu lalu tersapu bersih

22.2.14

[notes] a scent of the second season.

dear earth,
for as long as there's no good bye waves from the rains
you may want to expect the second season coming down.

but no worries.

it has different scent you'd happily detect : it's either a morning dew, or a 4 am peeking sun.
it was a season where even stars dancing to your sky, despite the thunderstorm.

so no worries.

a pleasant scent is a sign of something good might be in the making.


.

dear rain,
how happy might you be, having countless seasons as your home.

20.2.14

when we were closer :

that's when we forgot how should it felt being at our early 20s.
that's when our windows were always opened towards each other at our shared backyard.
that's when a pause between our exchange of words was only a second away.
that's when a thousand miles was unimaginable.



when we were closer,
a distance was a change of heart away.
that's when closing the windows were never an option.

10.2.14

separuh jarak.

hujan, bukan melulu tentang memberi jalan pada air-air
yang bersesak-sesak pulang pada tanah.

tanah : 
rumah mereka yang mungkin ada yang masih, yang mungkin ada yang sudah

hujan, bukan melulu tentang memberi ruang berkumpul pada air-air
yang terakhir melepas rindu satu sama lain pada langit yang tak lagi biru.

biru :
tanah kelana yang lama-lama menjadi kelabu


'
hujan, sekali waktu adalah tentang jarak,
tentang sebuah antara :
pergi dan kembali.

hujan yang riang, menempuh sepenuh jarak dengan berlari lurus.
hujan yang marah, menempuh sepenuh jarak dengan berlari berputar.
hujan yang sedih, menempuh sepenuh jarak dengan menyeret langkah.

hujan yang gundah, menempuh jarak hanya separuh.

''

hujan, bukan melulu tentang jarak
yang harus ditempuh, penuh atau juga separuh.

hujan, sekali waktu adalah tentang jarak
yang harus dimulai, tentang sebuah jeda :
tentang sebuah koma.

2.2.14

[journal] a taste of half a season.

And suddenly it's February. I'm hoping to run with it, after January took me down.

Well, okay, January might not be the best month this year. Things happened, and those were not pleasant ones, unfortunately. Another lesson learnt. It's true that the only thing you can expect to come is the unexpected. No matter how good of a planner you might be, there's always some spaces for emergency. To re-plan is a consequence when you decided to plan at the first place.

Am I okay? Not really. Will I be okay? I don't know. I realize I'm more a logical person rather than an optimistic one. But, you know, it's not being optimistic that makes me figured out the way out. It's being logical does. So the question shouldn't be something too abstract, it should be clearer such do I have a resolution to face the things? Sure. I do.

I still can't go on the details, but this one thing happened sure gave me a big question. One most repeated question : what do I actually want in life?

Just now I realized the answer might not be everlasting. Just like the changing seasons. Or it might be everlasting. The first thing you have wants, the second thing you'd be tested as many as needed, do you really want it? Does it come right from heart, or just a temporary desire which fully occupy your mind?

There're so many resolutions to make, so many next way to take. Nobody said it's gonna be easier. Indeed, making a place for yourself in this world is a hard thing to do. Because this world is already a place not just for you.

Season changing. It's not a full season, yet.
And the taste of half a season is just bittersweet.

=====
ps :
The phrase "a taste of half a season" is inspired by some lines of dialogue on Japanese manga Strobe Edge. When I read the similar phrase used by its main characters, I suddenly felt the urge to write something about it.