13.2.18

.4

Sometimes we need to keep life in check. Whether we're happy, or unhappy. Whether we're on track or of track. And not because life is a checklist.
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There are some things I'd been trying to manage: a not-so-deep curiosity. Things those always intriguing me to answer needless questions, to reactive towards unnecessary conflicts, to assume things those are clear as passing cloud. Things those I thought will tie me close to home, yet they made the distance wider.
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I always wonder, of those who are now being faraway from home, just I do, how do they maintain their presence back home. How do they stay confident that they were not missing any piece of love. And all the while they live a separate phase of life. How can they be okay and not pretending that they are not?
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I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss home. I do. So much, but not that so. Going through several months on my own, I finally realized that I am now being separated from all the familiar comforts I used to being close to. And to my surprise, I kind of love this new fact.
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A fact that includes a condition in which I should expect for more loneliness, the beautiful version of it. A kind of loneliness that is not tearing me into pieces, but helping me to collect the scattered pieces instead. And I'm enjoying the phase slowly, and happily.
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It might not always be a brand new happy life, but it must be one of those moving forward series. Going towards different direction is one kind of a beautiful open ending. A not-so-freshly-started life, but hey, life is always fresh!
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While keeping all my respect and admiration and love and longing and secret hope, I'd like to genuinely ask you: will you let go of me?