negativity.

i used to think that whenever i was sinking into negative kind of emotions, i should restrain myself from writing, anything (including blog post or even mere status or shout out). just to prevent any further regrets. just to give myself more time to cool down.

but ever since i realized that having negative emotions is not a bad thing, at all, i started to think that whenever such emotions came i should see them as challenges to have my behavior towards it to be under my own control. how? still, through my favorite thing : writing. 

it's about how to transfer my negative emotions into one piece of writing that won't reflect anything negative in the future whenever i re-read it. it's about how to make the writing as a memento of my effort dealing with such negativity, and thus not a memento of the negative emotions i had itself. 

no matter how hard i've tried, no matter how much i've been dealing with, i won't ever say this is an easy thing. 

people (should) grow. and so their emotions. different time, different bad things, different negative emotions evoked, different level of maturity needed to deal with them. then the challenges came will not ever be at the same difficulties.

at the first point it might be enough with avoiding the usage of harsh words or sentences. at the second point it shall be improved by avoiding even a glimpse of sense on negativity through all the writings. and finally at the third point, i think it should be perfectly countered by a 'positivity' generated from the complexity of the negativity to begin with. well, it's not like i've been through all those three steps though.

by positivity, i don't mean it as a 'lesson learnt'. in my perspective, negative emotions do not come to give me any lesson. they come to make sure that i grow by giving me some kind of inconvenience to feel and later to overcome.

what's more exciting than challenging yourself to grow through one thing you love to do?

notes : off course any ways to express how i feel, how my heart aches or how my head spins, such as crying or indulging myself with good food, good books and good movies, are allowed throughout the process of transforming those negativity into positivity ;)