twenty eleven.

dear writings, you know i really miss you, don't you?


let me have the last peaceful battle, for once and all, will you? you know exactly what my plan for you ;)


i promise i won't let such fail in 2011 to be happened again in 2012. but, there's just something odd about the odd years, don't you think so? it's just i never expected that the oddness of this year would go beyond any of my anticipation. 


but it's okay anyway. 


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and for you, dear 2011, you sure love to tease me, a lot, eh?


first you started by giving me one thing i least expected. one thing i honestly dislike to have, yet you gave me instead. and then you put me in such acceleration i never thought would give me more pressure and expectation later on. and as you could see, my biggest failure this year is not being able to manage those things. in contrary, i let myself got distracted. well, to see the bright side, thanks to this, i was finally being able to know and to enjoy real entertainment :) hey, this one i meant it! i never ever been such stressful to the point i need to be entertained properly.


by passing you, i meet lots of chance to see how this world is built with various kind of dream. i also had some chances to make new encounter with new things and new, yet actually old, people in my surroundings. there were times when things've gone the fun way, there were also times when they've gone way too annoying. but, in good and bad, things made me grow, unfortunately not wisely but with different new perspectives to see things in life. 


so, if anything, i'm grateful for getting "lost" in place i though i've "known" well enough. and if i had to point out one thing that put me in state of "why oh why dear God?" it'll be that i fail to meet my only two dreams this year. no need to tell you what they were, should i? i've told you once, in secret.


and so that's it for you, dear 2011. no more. but no less. you've been really odd. really. but which odd years haven't? 


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i'm thankful for the quite hard year, especially at the last quarter until its closing, and the cold universe. but still, i'm allowed to have hopes for brighter and warmer summer of 2012, aren't i? and i'm still expecting to meet my soulmate to be in that somewhere-far-north, or somewhere-far-east ;)


but before any upcoming expectations, first things first i need to pass this one last battle. a battle towards nobody else but myself. to take a responsibility on one thing i chose a year ago, out of nothing but love.


for the sake of God, who gives me the root of any chances in life, the life itself.
for the sake of people who believe in me, even when i fail to believe my self and lost faith in things i've been dreaming of. 
and for the dream itself, which had made its own path to find me.


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to finish what i once started, once and all, is the only thing i can promise myself to close this extraordinary odd year. all out.