we just hold different perspective on being boastful. apparently, i'm just not too comfortable with theirs, and it might be that they too are not too comfortable with mine. 

and i come to think that chemistry is never meant to be forced. it's something born by understanding, not tolerances. well, tolerances are some results of understanding too, though. it's just chemistry is not.

within chemistry, there's no acceptance, it's just an automatic fill-in-the-blank.

will there be any feeling of tiresome beyond chemistry? i bet there will. but nonetheless it usually ends up as a phase, a come-and-go process, not a test. accepting uncomfortable zones doesn't literally means i have to, no other way, accept inconveniences those almost drive me crazy. 

"i" symbolized ego. that's exactly why i almost write it down all the times every time it came to speak out thoughts. for i can't be sure that others think the same way i do. and i don't want to presume that they will.

if i didn't speak up my thoughts, it literally means they were only small matters and i don't mind with that despite how annoyed i might be.

my dears fellow number ones, i miss you like crazy. and i mean it.