Now, I want to start 2014 with some looking back to the project. What happened to the big cheesy goal? What also happened to the small not-so-cheesy sub-goals?
I moved on. Not as planned, which was supposed to be like this : I flew across the South China Sea, landing in front of him, tell him "I loved you, this' confession is more my ego. Thank you and see you", and flew back home and live a happy single life. No. It doesn't work that way.
I moved on, by consciously leading a mindful days. Slowly, one thing at a time. It never crossed my thought that being mindful to your own sadness, fear, and cuffs could help that much in letting go what's even never be yours at the first place. And later I found it's just as important to accept the whole of yourself, including that scary part of you which had let you to be in control of such delusional mind, as accepting that something is not and never to be yours.
While for the sub-goals, I admit 2013 was just a start of every changes I want to be. A good start if I may say. So I'd like to keep those sub-goals this year as well. Those were more of new habits I'd love to maintain throughout my life ahead, with some improvements every now and later when needed. Some evaluation is necessary though, especially on the self principles part.
Last year, it went this ways. This year, I think some revisions wouldn't hurt. So here I go :
- Be Astri. Be a girl, a lady, you envision yourself to be, how you would like your daughter to see in you.
- Be true. Whether it's planned or spontaneous. Be it philosophical or practical.
- Never get easily offended and intimidated. Listen, and filter. Every information are neutral.
- Eat and speak slowly. Eat as little. Speak as few.
- Write down your thoughts for any findings, not shouting them out just in any random way.
- Do all things needed in a portion that's just enough.
- Be organized more. With some amount of cluttered space.
- Be kind and well mannered to your surroundings.
- Remember, setting up or maintaining a distance is not forbidden.
- Never ever quit writing, whatever happens, whatever it takes :)
One thing for sure I'd love to say at the end of 2014 is "this year things are great!"
ps : I managed to not saying "peace!" all this year. yay!