[journal] before screen, a long ago.

listening to Sigur Rós always reminds me of my first time doing a love confession, publicly. well, actually, it was  an "i loved him" kind of statement, not any kind of "i love you, what do you think of it?"

feeling embarrassed? sure did.
feeling regretted? sure did not. i was happy to do it. i am happy to have it done.

and now, he's living his own happiness. somewhere there, with no part of me in it. 
and here, i'm living my own happiness. with no part of him in it.

there were always people come and go in life. some of them were meant to share with us the meaning of love. of friendship. of passion. of commitment. of hard work. of being on time. of sincerity. he shared all of those to me. he taught me the best lesson in trusting a person. he made me believe in such thing called "to accept a certain one with his/her good and his/her bad". he is certainly some one to whom one of my "thank you for everything" would belong.

"to see you happy means i am happy." 
he is the one who allowed me to know that such feeling does exist.

and then, why was that suddenly an urge came telling me to tell the world that he was meant a lot?
it might because of one of Sigur Rós' song. one song he played while showing me running random pictures on the screen. it was one among moments of tranquility i could remember having with somebody else. it was only him, me and the song. and the pictures for sure. and the silence.

the silence that bonded us.
the silence that separated us.
the silence that burned even the memories those created by the moment itself. 
(that until today i can't remember the song, not even if i coincidentally would ever hear the same song again. it feels like that the song only sing itself for that very moment)

more than a good friend, yet not even a lover. i owe him much for every little things those had made one little part of me today.

so when a text came saying "i'm going, thank you for everything" and intuitively i replied "thank you too for everything, be good right there", a whole part of me already knew. it was a sweet farewell, a forever goodbye. a properly done sending each other with a smile.

. . . 

this is a fictional plot to be developed in the future. however its possibility to be based on real things is quiet high. thank you in advance for the understanding.