[journal] the sun shines brighter.

Before I could continue on the rest of posts I promised myself to finish, I feel I must spill my feeling out. About this guy. About another sun in this universe. About one of inspirational figures I look up to.

Warning : this is another my fangirling session. You might not wanna continue reading this post, or not? ;)

.

And I assume you continue ;)

So, the sun is back. Brighter and hotter for sure. The full album hasn't been released yet, so I still can't say whether I love, or not, his recent musical acts. I can't really say that I love his recently released single, "Ringa Linga" that much, too, either. But no doubt, this video attracts me in some strange way. I never get bored replaying the video, over and over. I just can't get enough of the package : the music, the dance, and the strong passion and faithfulness towards a dream.

And when I say this guy is among inspirational figures I look up to, it's no joke. 

I'm usually drawn toward certain person, or figure, because of their 'similarity' with me. Not in term 'looked alike', but more of whether their presence resembles mine in certain way, or reminds me of mine in another certain way, or simply acts as an automatic reflector for me of which inside the mirror it could be my past or my future or both. The same rules apply here. 

From the very first time I discovered this guy until just now, I actually always wondering why did I admire him? What quality did I see in him as a superstar that is worth to be admired? How good he is compared to other superstars at his level? And just recently I found the answer. 

It is his passion, stubbornness, and faithfulness in his own aspiration. Started from the moment he decided to state out his dream. Tested through moments served as his pathway. Convinced by the improvements of his approach and his works. It's hard (for me) not to fall in love seeing him taking the full responsibility of what he dreamed himself. As hard (for me) not to be attracted to his seriousness and rigidity <3

Okay, I know very well he's a member of the now biggest KPop boyband BIGBANG (yes, I am well aware that I am very subjective here) which each of its member stands out equally strong with their own distinct qualities. So I am not gonna compare here. I admire the group just as much as I admire him as one of its member, as well as a solo artist himself. It's just hard to explain, but the reason stands alone. I heart this guy, with just heart :)

. . .

ps 1 : how could a man so passionate about what he loves to do not be considered sexy ;)

ps 2 : no matter how much bad-hair-day he had, once he smiles... sorry, how was his hair again? 

ps 3 : and yes, I love you too dear YB :* (responding to how often he said "I love you" to his audiences whenever he's on stage)


notes :
this post was made solely based on a highly-subjective series of observation and interpretation on his musical transformation, stage performances improvement, and media interviews, thus a highly biased composition.

.rumah

tempat yang menahan air mata dengan senyuman
tempat di mana waktu berjalan lambat, hingga sore pun sempat duduk-duduk di teras depan
dengan secangkir kopi
semangkuk batang-batang coklat
dan pelajaran tentang mencintai setiap pilihan yang dibuat dengan hati.

bandung, 23 november 2013 pada suatu sore

at the train station.

they say night is still young,
but don't you think it's already old enough to bite you,
at heart?

the only place where night will never grow up is at the train station.

all the coming seconds were (in the end) always swept away
by those departing trains, with certain destinations set on its machines.

have you ever seen the times running there, at the train station?
have you ever seen them playing hide and seek with the departure announcement?
have you ever seen them holding tight to the platform's railing?

have you ever felt them shrinking into memories those were slipping into your luggage,
and just silently follow you home?

maybe that's why on that one time you said you had this weird feeling
of not wanting to step out on your very destination station.
you wished the train would take you back to the previous station where you step in.

that's when memories shattered the place of home in your mind.
that's when even a heart doesn't have any control of your decision,
that's when it got bitten by the too-old time.

"traveling solo is never an escape, nor a cure, for a lonely heart."

- me, at the (supposedly to be) last solo trip.

[travelnotes] September getaway, an intro : two nights three days.

So, September 2013 is another memorable month to me. I had a getaway of two nights three days in Singapore. It all began with one word : BIGBANG *kyaa*. And here's my story...

On a one fine day, while browsing my favorite sites, I stumbled into the news that my current (most) favorite (boyband) group will be performing at the opening concert of 2013 Singapore Grand Prix Formula 1. Knowing it, I got really excited, considering they haven't been on a stage as a complete team for quite a long time. I miss seeing their performance live, through fancams though I should add. It never crossed my mind to actually go to Singapore to see their performance. Not until a friend who was living there texted me, and excitingly ask me whether I'd go to Singapore to see them or not. She's not a fan of Bigbang, anyway, but she's been to some of previous Singapore GP's concerts. She told me that the single ticket for the first day (the practice day), including the opening concert should have a lower price. Curious, I checked the website, and yes, the single ticket for the first day was not really that 'pricey', but still the number gasped me. End of discussion (in my head), I'm not going!

On another (not so) fine day, I changed my mind. Oh well, what you can expect from a fangirl? *big grin* I blame it to one tweet from @KartuPos announcing a special offer for the first day's race and concert with a price which made me, ahem, didn't think twice to buy it. Shortly, I got it ;) And later I've realized other things : where to stay and how to get there, and how much those all will cost *dang* -__-" However, I could manage them just in time.

Where to Stay

Picking up the place to stay is always on top of my most important considerations whenever I was doing a solo travelling. Oh, by the way, yes, this was another solo traveling for me ;) It's just part of the safety procedures. I'm fully realized I already made my parents worried by (loving to) traveling alone, I don't need to add their anxiety by being careless throughout the journey. So I came up with several 'requirements' for the place to stay :

• It has to be a hostel or dormitory type of lodging. Simply, I didn't have that much of budget >.<
• It has to be specifically a girl dormitory, or at least a woman-only-room, with separate bathroom for men and women. I tried avoiding to bump into just any stranger male in the dark *eh*.
• It must have a strategic location, near (or within a walking distance, 200 meters is maximum) from the nearest MRT Station. It's not that I didn't want to walk more than that. The concert will be starting at 23.15, and should be ending at 00.30 am at the earliest (actually it was extended until 00.45 for the encores). Well, if you think I would want to walk alone in some streets on someplace strange at those hours (plus the commuting time which took approximately 30-45 minutes), forget that thought.

Thankfully it's Singapore, a place where I (and my parents) were already quite familiar with. Through Agoda, it's not really difficult to find the place that meets those requirements. From the options left, I made my choice to stay at the Checkers Backpackers Inn in Little India District, 200 meters away from Little India MRT station. The price was quite reasonable for a double-deck ladies only room. The place was good enough to rest after spending most of the days outside. The room-mates were also okay. Actually, I didn't interact much with them as I spent most of the day outside and got back to the dormitory when they were already sleeping or even not yet came back. The only unpleasant thing I experienced was being at the same floor with a group of family from Indonesia, who seemed to not understand the meaning of staying in hostel or dormitory. Being so noisy, shouting to one another, I seriously thought they forgot that there're other people on the floor who wished to have some rest. And not to mention being so messy (and still noisy) in the bathroom *doh*. Oh, and to walk 200 meters from the MRT Station to the inn through some streets in Little India District at 01.30 am, ahem, I don't think I would want it again, ever! But, overall, the stay is good :)

How to Get There

This one is not as tricky as looking where to stay. For the first time, I took a budget airlines Air Asia, and as I put aside buying the tickets until last minutes, I was able to get a promo two-way ticket (yayy!!) which not so promo since I had the trip on weekend, but still, the price was more reasonable than when the last time I checked it. On the earlier plan, I should get the F1 ticket from @KartuPos on Friday noon, but then later I could get it days before while still in Jakarta. However, regarding the earlier plan, I already book the first flight for the departure day on Friday. The flight was at 05.30 am, which means I had to get at the airport at 04.30 am at the latest. Considering a one hour commuting time, I had to leave home at 03.30 am at the latest, well make it 03.15 am to be safe. This flight time had caused a little drama. I suddenly worried to go to the airport by taxi, alone, at that hour. So I try asking my friends about the possibility of riding a travel or shuttle bus (at least I only need to ride the taxi alone only until the travel/shuttle's pool), but no travel or shuttle operating at such hour T___T So, finally I muster my courage and decided to ride a taxi to the airport. Alhamdulillah I reached the airport safely just in time the check-in counter opened :) So started here, off we go!

The Itinerary

The main reason for this trip is, again, the Bigbang concert. But I feel it would be such a waste if I went to Singapore only for that purpose. The concert is on friday night, so I could have saturday and sunday to extend my visit. And so I did, as I remember having "unfinished business" there ;p So for the arrival day, I chose the 14.30 (Singapore time) flight on Sunday. That means I would have a two nights three day in Singapore ;)

Day-1 is the concert day, so automatically it can't be combined with any other plans *huhu*

Day-2 is a full-free-day. I just need to put in, ahem, a little time to do some shopping thing for the people back home and, ahem, my self for sure. 

Day-3 is a half-free-day. I just need to make sure that I won't be late for check-out and to go to Changi. Well, I wasn't late. I came back to the inn at 11.50 am for check out at 12.00 pm. I arrived at Changi at 14.00 for flight at 14.30. What a time (mis)management, girl --"

When the thought of extending my trip came, I already know just where I want to go in Singapore. The parks! But since the list were too long, I could only choose the top three T___T *gaahh I want to visit more* After a long strolling around the National Parks Board's website, these were my choices :

1. The Southern Ridges Trails

2. Marina Garden by the Bay

3. My Waterway at Punggol

Okay, that's just too much for an intro. Next, I'll post the story about (my first time) watching Bigbang's performance live and about the parks :)

untitled #6

sinar matamu adalah buku yang paling ingin aku baca saat ini,

namun ia beraksara yang tak kupahami.

[journal] my (first) Bigbang concert, a teaser.

it was beyond of what I've imagined.

the five amazing eagle boys :

Kwon Jiyong. Dong Youngbae. Choi Seunghyun. Kang Daesung. Lee Seunghyun

live.

on stage.

all five.

right in front of my eyes.

(i still can't believe it!)

singing. dancing. a high quality performance you think you could not ever expect from idols.

it was one of the finest night of my life. one good night to get high. 

a party vs a tranquility.

. . .

yes, you may call me an illogical fangirl. 

but what logic is there needed to enjoy such disorderly harmony?

ps : 

dear Bigbang, a wish list is accomplished and i love you even more

thank you for such a beautiful night, boys

:*

[journal] moving out.

It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote a journal here. Now let me tell you one story which happened lately : I'm moving out. I'm moving out from my super comfort zone. I'm moving out from a city where I've been living for thirty years of my life. I'm moving out from a house where I grew up and store my mementos.

My very first thought of moving out actually happened while I was sorting the possibilities of where should I take my undergraduate collage. I was once thinking about going to capital city, learning psychology in that one yellow university. But then it never happened, instead I was going to a school of architecture in this very city. A city where I was born, growing up, and having my primary and secondary school. And so the thought disappeared.

Later, when I graduated, the thought came again. This time it even went further, not only to the capital city, but to some other neighboring countries. And of course it failed, instead I was accepted in an independent urban design institution in this very city, again, just right across my college, a fifteen minutes walk from home.

To be honest with myself, I could tell that working there was some kind of 'a dream coming true' to me : to work in an urban design institution (or consultant). So, just like when I was entering college, the thought of moving out disappear. Until the day I had a dream to have a graduate study overseas. For one more time, it doesn't work. Instead, I was accepted in a master program at the same place as where I pursued my undergrad degree. The same old story repeat itself.

Long story short, I got graduated and coming back to professional world as a freelance part timer in my previous office. Well, this time with a combination here and there so that it's not really just there. However, after some while floating on an annoying comfort zone, I reached the point where I realized I need to take the leap. Or I won't do it for the rest of my life.

So, I finally came to a day of what people called "last day". A last day in an office which had given me rooms to get to know urban design, a phrase that is still being one of the keywords of my dreams. Either those good times or bad times were both a just right combination to nurture my point of view towards professionalism. I learnt a lot, I missed a lot. But one thing I'm now really sure of, is that a dream could only be shattered with another dream, the bigger the new one the finer the old pieces left.

I never thought a farewell could bring such a melancholy. It was the moment of 'this time I'm going for not going back anymore'. Leaving a comfort zone, either it's a pleasant one or an annoying one, is indeed hard.

But I'm leaving anyway.

.

And now, I'm on the new chapter of life I've been longing for so long. The second phase. The (personal) life in between 'still belong to mom and dad' and 'building my own family'. Well, another dream coming true I might say : a phase of independently living away from home. Hmm, not really that independent though.

And how do I like it so far, if you ask?

Despite the fact that now I'm living in a city of traffic and speed, somewhere some people pointed it as 'a city where you get old on street', I'm (surprisingly) loving it. The routines, the almost-two-hours commuting time from home to office, the bring-the-lunch-myself, the packed bus, the weekly groceries, the weekly cleaning, the two-days laundry, the job, the solitude of depending only to myself on a daily basis, are all the (new) things to challenge me.

Okay, loving it might sound wrong. A love-hate relationship is more like it. A balance. Since there're also things I could not consider as challenge, such as a really really really poor pedestrian ways, a not-so-integrated public transportation system, dumb motorcyclist those take over pedestrian ways, unpredictable traffic, unreliable drainage system, and the too many hours spent on mobility. Indeed, I'm already spoiled with the comfort zone I left behind. But there's no other way than to survive, here. Or else I'd only be a walking zombie. And to survive means to be effective. Separating the needs and the wants. Being focused, and manage distractions as many as I could handle. Scheduling. Eat well, sleep well. Keep on time, on track of the destination.

Oh, and one thing, without a destination, all those things will only be meaningless. Thankfully, I had one :)

.

Living away from home I used to know, I could finally picture the 'home' I'm heading to. Not yet perfectly drawn, but the bigger picture could now be imagined. Slowly, I begin to understand of why did my life go this way. 

"It's time to stop driving. It's time to go home." (Gravity, 2013)

ps : Moving out is indeed scary. The reason I (finally) did it is because I want to be brave. As you know, no other way to be brave but by dealing with your fear.

untitled #7

matahari membakar malam dari balik bumi, menghanguskan senja yang bersisa di depan pintu, sebelum sempat ia mengetuk hati sang waktu demi satu jeda untuknya meninggalkan sebersit rona merah pada si langit.

untitled #4

cemburu adalah pagi yang mendung, siang yang terik, dan sore hujan badai.

menyembuhkannya adalah dengan sedikit merah, sedikit kuning, dan sedikit malam.

sayangnya cemburu tak pernah benar-benar lelap. ialah yang berjaga ketika ada penyelinap yang tiba-tiba menutup mata dari belakang.