6 | quote at the end of reading.

"I closed my eyes and listened carefully for the descendants of Sputnik, even now circling the earth, gravity their only tie to the planet. Lonely metal souls in the unimpeded darkness of space, they meet, pass each other, and part, never to meet again. No words passing between them. No promises to keep."

Sputnik Sweetheart, by Haruki Murakami - on chapter 14

7 | perjalanan.

(Candi Ratu Boko, Juni 2010)

.

perjalanan memintamu (selalu) untuk jatuh hati.

keindahan menjadi sesuatu yang tak berlabelkan harga :

waktu yang membumi,

dan ruang yang mengudara.

.

perjalanan mengingatkanmu (juga) untuk tak lupa berpatah hati.

denyut jantung perlahan mengiris rekaman berwarna hijau yang baru sampai ke hati :

rasa yang berlabuh (sesaat) di ujung sinar mata,

dan aroma jarak sepelemparan senyuman.

.

lalu akhirnya, 

pada pulang tak ada seperjalanan untuk selamanya

8 | two minds.

are not to think alike,
whether both are great ones, poor ones,
or a combination.

if you're about to found a couple,
maybe you're just having hallucination.


you don't believe in exact replication of a labyrinth set, do you?

9 | on the way home.

I've been in love with John Mayer's music since 2004, once I found "Clarity" on my friend's playlist. At first, of course, it's all about the melody, the beat, the voice, ... the atmosphere. And later it's all about the lyrics. I just can't resist his kind of poetic, yet honestly metaphoric words. His phrases never failed to give me pinches in the heart, and twists in the mind.

However, lately, I must admit I kinda fall out of his music. I really wanna say that his transformation towards country-ish music was awesome, yet I don't really get that genre of music. But then, be it any kind of genre he's exploring, his lyrical touch remains as strong.

Maybe, like this one.

.

"The summer's over. This town is closing.

They're waving people out of the ocean.

We have the feeling like we were floating.

We never noticed where time was going.

Do you remember when we first got here?

The days were longer the nights were hot here.

Now, it's September the engine's starting.

You're empty-handed and heavy-hearted.

But just remember on the way home, (oh oh oh)

That you were never meant to feel alone.

It takes a little while, but you'd be fine

Another good time coming down the line.

You'll go back to love that's waiting.

I'll unpack in a rented room.

How's that life you swear you're hating?

Grass is greener that makes two.

But just remember on the way home, (oh oh oh)

That you were never meant to feel alone.

Just look me up get back on the bus.

I'll see you next week if you need my trust.

Life ain't short, but it sure is small.

You get forever but nobody at all.

Life ain't short, but it sure is small.

You get forever but nobody at all.

It don't come often, and it don't stay long.

But just remember on the way home,

You don't ever have to feel alone.

Just stay on the run; get off the grid.

Hide yourself out like you know that I did,

And if you might find that you're running is done,

A little bit of Heaven never hurt no one."

.

Music is indeed a universal language.

And a locker of unspoken truths those're needless to be said yet craving for silent stage.

Well, (at least) that's his music to me.

*) Lyrics credit here

10 | currency converter.

"people speaks of love holding different values of their life. there's no definite currency, nor a real fair trade when it's something related to feelings. the converter is presumptions with highly subjectivity. the only thing to trust is self honesty, and the courage to admit."

11 | jealousy, an inconsistency on pretending.

jealousy is like,
a pinch in a heart
a cancelled rain, leaving an early humidity.

it's like,
negating the 'no it's not you'
confirming the 'i actually into you'.

it's nowhere near love,
nothing like a future.

it's a time capsule for a later regret,
which is opened just in time.

12 | masterplanner.

the title is so tempting. masterplanner. the term alone has a sparkling aura of a double combo : master and planner. it spreads the image of lying leisurely in the park, with a cold coffee and a stack of coffeetable references, with rolls of tracing papers and markers in various colors.

it feels like you'll have forever with you.

truth is somehow a pinch in the air :
"hey you, i want the masterplan of those hectares tomorrow. and by tomorrow, i mean tomorrow morning. no need to take a forever, it's just a plan."

*well, it's not exactly a 'tomorrow', i just exaggerated it a bit. a tiny bit.

.
and now, let's assume it's already, say, a year later :
"hey you, why did you planned it like that back than. so awful! and this element, and this, why didn't you take it into consideration? what's with the hurry? you should take more time with you..."

"well, it's just a plan, you know... it needn't a forever."

" . . . "

==============================

as for me, i took planning (way) too serious. be it planning in professional context. or as simple as planning a vacation. or a future. so, 'it's just a planning' won't really do for me. well, yeah, unless the other party wouldn't mind sharing the responsibility for any unpleasant after effect of what they said 'poor planning'. and again, what does a thing take to be said as poorly planned?

.

but, be a good masterplanner anyway.
you may not experience the after effect, but the people after you will.
think about their happiness. imagine a little. masterplanning is not mere technical.

and again,
you may not experience the after effect of your carelessly planned life,
but the future version of you will. and you just don't have any idea who else will.

it's just a plan. but what's planned is never a just.

13 | Jason Mraz - The World As I See It

dear mr. Mraz, now I remember why is it so easy to fall for your songs.

.

"You are the mountain, you are the rock

You are the court and you're the spark

You are the eagle, you are the lark

You are the world and you're remarkable

You're the ocean beating the shore

You are the calm inside the storm

You're every emotion, you can endure

You are the world, the world is yours.

(It's not hard for me to love you

Hard for me to love you

No it's not a difficult thing.

It's not hard for me to love you

Hard for me to love you

Unconditionally)"

.

and you,

now I remember why it was that easy to fall for you.

14 | bittersweet sense of sunset.

Picture was personal property, taken from one spot on Northern Coast of DIli, Timor Leste

it's like when all you want is one peaceful session of sunset watching,

yet there's no path towards,

yet the sun hides itself beyond clouds.

next time, maybe, on some other edge.

15 | 1997.

It's a bit early in the midnight hour for me

To go through all the things that I want to be

I don't believe in everything I see

You know I'm blind so why d'you disagree?

OASIS - All Around the World, Album Be Here Now, 1997

.

It's hard to pack the life of my 1997 in a box. The changing heart of a 14 years old girl, as well the fast-flowing time to mark an era. Influential things came all the way along the life, yet there're always some times when they're coming in a too vast of lines and speed.

1997 is one of those time. That's when my head didn't reach the level of imagination. That's when dramas occupied all spaces inside. That's the first time to realize things don't go as you thought they should be. Things go as they pleased.

And on that time, to understand was yet an option.