pukul tujuh.

pukul tujuh malam adalah waktunya untuk bercerita tentang minggu.
tentang hari-hari yang menguap.
tentang hari-hari yang belum masak.
tentang hari-hari yang masih ada dalam angan.
tentang hari-hari yang sudah terkotak dalam lemari.

pukul tujuh malam adalah waktunya untuk berjalan cepat-cepat.
dengan tas cangklong besar berwarna coklat.
dengan sepata putih berhak tujuh senti.
dengan gelas kertas berkopi.
dengan buku poket yang tak cukup masuk dalam saku.

menuju stasiun bawah tanah.
untuk kereta terakhir,
yang sudah bergegas tiga menit yang lalu.
meninggalkan lalu lintas di atasnya,
dalam gemuruh derap pencari rumah.
pukul tujuh adalah waktu di mana jalan pulang menghilang,
tenggelam bersama ingatan yang terbuang, demi mimpi untuk menjadi.

change for the better,
never change just for the sake of change itself.

[journal] off July.

It's less than twelve hours toward another conference, yet I haven't finished my presentation >.< Yet surprisingly I don't feel that kind of panic attack. Well, guess those d-1 (uhm, not really that d-1, though) "please make a presentation" have trained me well enough, yes. In the other hand, I found compressing my 71-slide-thesis-presentation into 25-30-slide-only-conference-presentation is actually challenging rather than stressing. Well, again, the drilling was it. However, I never be the one who do the presenting. *okay, there the panic come*

So, a quick scribe. I've just finished reading the first chapter of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I must say she nailed it. She really knows what concrete things those contribute to ones being happy, not just that, "well, be happy". Happy is indeed a 'be' even from the start.

Or maybe she just chose the perfect hints to put in her first chapter, it's about Vitality : Boost Energy. That's just one good way to start. Anew. So here, instead waiting for January, I decided to start doing it now in July. There's no definite reason why I feel the need to start 'the project' soon. It might because that July is the first month in the second half of 2012. It might because that July is a symbol of summer. Well, just as simple as that. To start, I won't break down the plan here, that's for my offline journal. Instead, I will start it with a "to-do-list". Not that kind of "must-do-list", but more of a "want-do-list".

Why "want"? Because I want, not need, these to be done :)

  1. Have one empty box in my room, leaving some spaces for good things to come.
  2. Do my first postcard-series-project. And definitely send some of them to some ones in the West.
  3. Block two posters for my room : the pinky pointed shoes with music sheet, and the beloved boys.
  4. Visiting beautiful Kala and her mom, for sure.
  5. Making a pastel colored portfolio.
  6. Start drawing (again). I owe myself a #30dayssketching. Shall I start with a tree house?
  7. Arrange folders for the double big-B. Yes, they require some cleaning, not clearing.
  8. Buy one pair of proper shoes. I mean it.
  9. Buy one proper lady-like bag. Semi-formal tote is fine. And, yes, this too I mean it.
10. Buy one pair of proper blue jeans. Again, I mean it.
11. Eye check! Replace the sunglasses frame.
12. Starting shaum this year peacefully, in just any aspect.
13. Say hello :)

That's a 13 of July. Happiness is a determined mind away. Might as well be true.

[journal] the age of 14.

of all the wonders of any kind of human's tendencies,
one thing that made me curious to the maximum level is


how come old people forget the fact that once they're all just 14?
that's just the most wonderful age in life, the age when you could make some mistakes and people would surely forgive you, well, yet you rather assumed that they didn't, isn't it?


maybe that's just my imagination :)

meminta hati untuk berbicara lebih keras.
meminta kepala untuk redakan gaduhnya. sedikit saja.


agar dunia dapat tetap dengan putarannya.
dan jiwa dapat diam dengan pendengarannya.

#longstoryshort 3

EVERYTHING ENDS IN SOME RANDOM NIGHTS. OF YOU AND ME. OF THEM AND US. AND WE CAN'T EVEN DECIDE WHICH ONE IS EXACTLY WHAT'S BEEN NAMED MOVING ON. IS IT TO STOP THE TIME. OR TO FAST FORWARD IT. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, KEEP WALKING THE UNCONSCIOUSLY SAME SPEED JUST WON'T DO.

#longstoryshort 2

and there's a midnight,which sits back to back with a noon. each with different future ahead, yet both'd end as a same past.

#longstoryshort 1

there's this story about universe, which started with dust, and end with dust. with a perfect day of you and me in between.

[journal] maybe...just,

maybe i'm just getting super bored.
maybe i'm just getting extremely pissed.


maybe i just need to draw the line bold.
maybe i just need to lock the distance unlimited.


maybe i just want to stop working with things or ones i realized i can never get used to.
maybe i just want to start working on my bucket list, my sand box, you name it, instead.


maybe i'm the one who actually pushed myself too hard on things i, myself, dislike a lot.
maybe i'm the one who actually can't see things clearly as my vision blurred with hatred towards something indefinite.






maybe i really need to go somewhere west, literally, seeing the sunset.
the burning red of another ending.
having a sleepless night on some random street,
watching another side of life. which could be exactly the same as mine, 
for the tears and the laughs.
write a story, a completed song. 
with dimmed street lamps as the melody. and homeless steps as the lyric.
and then going home near the morning.
say hello to morning dew. and smile to mom and dad.
and then, with an exact same old soul, 
start anew. 

if i remember You, ...

... would i be able to forget you then?